 |
 |
 |
 |
Sigh. I've never felt so free in my whole life.  Funny thing is I'm not free...I am strait-jacket-strapped to a job. And a 'job' is just another word for 'forage for berries." The only problem is that I just can't leave this particular spot and wander around like some aimless-bag-lady because the risk is even though berries grow everywhere, chances are other people are already 'foraging' furiously and tightly. As tightly as sardines in a can. Trust me. There is no room for me. Some freedom, eh? (And the other thing is that there are ways to creating our own gold mine, another phrase for 'berries farm' but hey, I don't have any skills in this area...so I am stuck with helping other people maintain their berries farm. And of course there are advantages...and disadvantages too...and one disadvantage I am not too crazy about is the fact that when you don't have your own berry farm, other people's berry farms become your Sun. You 're forced to orbit it day and some nights too ;-) However, why fret about it? After all, other than the Sun, who is really free in this universe of ours?  ........Earth? Nah. Last time I checked, she was enslaved by Sunny Boy, The Sun, held prisoner by his magnetic charms and constantly biting her lips off thinking she would die if she's ever deprived of his warmth? (((Dependency! Ah ha...All of us depend upon someone or something or the other. I mean, who could survive without a parent, healer or sunshine?)))
Anyway, I think Earth is free to leave whenever she wants to..........but Sunny Boy has her under his hypnotic spell...(((((and before anyone gets upset with the Guy, just remember, he's not holding anyone prisoner...................and it's not the other way round either...................it's just that He has something we’re totally dependent on.))))  Okay. Where was I, before Sunny Boy hijacked my mind? Oh yeah... Despite my lack of freedom, I feel free...in fact...I think I am freedom itself...And this is what I want for the world...for everyone to become freedom itself...you know instead of being a prison house... However, that said...I know...I know...I can never give "freedom" to the world...they have to earn it for themselves....................................although I still wished I could earn it for everyone but I'm not Lady Jesus. I'm powerless, helpless, a Lover of the Sun, trying to shine warmly upon my fellow earthlings despite having to deal with pesky clouds constantly interfering. I know!! I should leave it up to each human to come out of their cubby holes in their own time to accept my warmth... ...................because I believe I should not impose my will or beliefs upon others. You see, I think this is what drives us all deeper into the Web of Maya..................  (and trust me, this is not a bad thing...the bad thing...pure mind torture... is the inability to comprehend why the rain falls on the Just and the Unjust and the effect is not the same on everyone...and how to make the rain work positively for us......................) yes, when I try to control others, it only serve to drive me deeper into the maze of Maya..............to be trapped for all eternity...or until freedom is earned...by releasing the hold I have upon my fellow people...by setting each bird free, I set myself free…...cripes, it should be my first commandment........."Thou shall not impose thy free will or beliefs upon thy fellow men!" Actually it should replace............."Ye shall have no other Gods but ME so keep on worshipping my ego to infinity and beyond and never, ever question why or you shall be knocked senseless by my hell fire and brimstones!!!!" What the...! The bastard...and yes, Thou's a bastard until it's proven his parents were married...so Bastard Square until then........Bastard retangle too!!!
Conniving BIBLICAL 360 degrees BASTARD in all caps!!! Perhaps Thou didn't want me to know that he was imposing his commandments upon me the whole @bsurd TIME. ......... OKAY...that ‘bit' off my chest, one must also see that I'm just as guilty of everything I accuse my sweet, caring, God of...yes............................. thou shall not impose thy beliefs upon others... and this is the thing...just by saying it...I am already imposing…er…wait a minute here!!! I never asked you to read this, now, did I? Whew!! That was close. Okay. Okay, back to the story. How to achieve freedom? Oh yes...how did I managed to feel free although I am still glued to the hips of the Sun? I think I felt the most free right after I met with Shiva, God of Destruction...and Psst...God of the Kama Sutra as well...but don't tell him Big Mouth, Blabber Pout told you that...or he might just burned me down to the ground with his third eye. So there I was...safe and snug under my rock...(frown). Where have I used that very same sentence before? Hmm........................can't remember. Oh well..............you know...Alzheimer could step in at any age...or is it amnesia...perhaps the rock fell on my head?? Oh God!!! OMG!!! I've amnesia..............  ...............Anyway...yes...here I was...under my rock...when my third eye opened...and guess what I saw? God. I am still stunned. Anyway, in my inner vision, I saw Shiva...God of Dark...(don't gape at me, the Man er God has more names than stars in heaven) yep, I saw Him sitting on a rock...Well, he better not be sitting on my rock!!! .............Wait a minute? Am I going anywhere with this story? Or is the story going somewhere with me??...Yikes...I think the story is taking me everywhere...because why else am I suddenly remembering this:- Shiva once burned to smithereens, er...to ashes, the God of Desire...(I'm rolling my eyes here)...Ladies and Gentlemen, that from a Kama Sutra lord!!! ...................Anyway, be afraid for me...be very afraid...one mishap and I'm dust!!! Okay, where was I? Yeah. After I had my first-third-eye vision, I squirmed out from under my rock. By the time I was done wriggling out, I was hot and sweaty and flustered...but holy, Moly, sweet glory!!! GOD!!! I felt free. I was free!!! ..............I remembered frowning. Would I always feel this free? I glanced up...and what do I see? Yes. You probably know what I am seeing... my whole dang life, I've been buried la Vida loca under a mountain!!! And not just any mountain!!! A mountain of the Himalayas, a sacred mountain, holier than thou. No one has ever climbed it yet! (Er...cept yours truly...she could climb up there regularly in her mind but she really don't wanna) And this sacred mountain is called Kailasa meaning “crystal”. It is viewed as the center of the world and the ultimate destination of souls . It is also the abode of a famous mountain lord.......Who cares anyway? Mountains are mountains. Anyway, guess who is sitting atop of it all??? Yep. Shiva, the Mountain Lord himself, God of The Dance.
Huh!!! So I set off to see Shiva in a huff of mad freedom. Needless to say, it was a long trek up!
...................I arrived at the peak to find him totally into another universe. You know!!! Like what the #HECK% is wrong with this universe? I glare at his third eye with all my might but nothing happens. Huh? How come? And suddenly I am reminded of the story of the Northwind and The Sun. One should never use force in a certain situation if one needs someone to open up their shirt and expose his...er...soul to you..............  (So I became Sun-ladylike...smiling sweetly, shining warmly and so sure Shiva would get all warm and ready to unwrap his soul for my viewing...) Ooops...I almost forgot to mention, I also ran off to pick some fresh, fragrant flowers for his sweet, lotus feet........(yes, at the peak of mountains are flowers bursting open regularly) I brought him some Tulsi too.... Tulsi's fragrance is heavenly. Mmm...I want some now!!!.....................Anyway, you think that would work, but abso-dang-lutely...still no show!!!! (The guy...and what a guy...actually a Guy in Full...........................) Anyway, the guy continued to ignore me, his mind fixed on some inner star... ..........................."Hey you." I say out loud. "Look at me...I'm more interesting than that universe you are obsessed with....." But he continued to ignore me...his peaceful face telling me, he knew, knew I was under his spell...or rather I was a non-existing rock for all he cared!!!
He was in a really deep trance. How to snap him out of it? And frankly, if the feminine sunrise within me couldn't awaken him...then will the real Slim Shady please stand up...please stand up......... Okay...back to the story. So I waited and waited and waited and just when I made up my mind to leave, lo and heart bracingly slow, Shiva opened his eyes...yikes, all three of them and looks directly at me. ............... God he's so handsome. His face is serene and peaceful. I so want to go where he has been...and oh...never mind............. He smiles at me as if he has never seen such a beautiful morsel in that other universe he was so obsessed with previously... ........... ............................"What can I do for you?" He asks me. (He asked the question as if he owes me a favor.) I frown. Oh yes...he does owe me... (You see...I was supposed to be mad with him...but instead I choose not to blow up that path...like he did to poor Cupid........... "I need youoff my rock...er...off my mountain..." I begin with a stupid stutter... "Nope." He says calmly. "I was here first...you're the one who invaded my space." What? I was at a loss for words...either that or something hijacked my tongue. What a bully!!! I continued to stare in stupefaction. Some nerves- "So where did you come from?" He asks after I failed to come up with a hot retort. I almost rolled my third eye. "I didn't come from anywhere...I've always been here...and you see, Sir...you've got to set me free...you're sitting on my rock..." "Why should I do that?" He looks at me keenly as if he could hardly wait to receive my answer. "...............um.......because I'm trapped...you've to...lift your weight off my chest...er...rock..." I also mumbled an unladylike sentence under my breath..........................."please cart your sunny a&%s@#s ....er...sunny side off my mountain..." "Come closer." He beckons me. I slid closer to him and he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "I've only imprisoned you under your rock because you've imprisoned me." "What?" I spluttered. "Have you gone mad? I've never, ever imprisoned another soul...not in my heart, not in my mind, not under my rock...not anywhere?" "Oh yeah?" He smiles. "Open your heart and take a look." So I did...and goodness, gracious me...I'm taken aback...good lord........so many I've imprisoned... and Psst...you know what sickens me the most? I actually imprisoned Jesus as well...(poor guy...how many centuries now?) and all because some Dufus told me I should open my heart and let Jesus in...poor guy...the minute he stepped into my heart...slam! The door shut and locked....and he was imprisoned in my heart and forced to be my slave...like the genie enslaved by Aladdin's lamp!!! Can you imagine, Jesus not even allowed a relaxing staycation because I'm always mewing for this and pouting for that? "Set them free..." Shiva instructs me quietly..."and you will also set yourself free." So I not only set all the Gods free, I set my whole bloody family tree free... "Oh wow!" I say to Shiva. "This has got to be the greatest commandment I have ever heard...I think I am gonna tell it to the world..." And then my face fell...I knew instantly it would not make sense to the multitude because a "rock rat" like me has yet to earn my audience...which I probably lost by foolishly telling them that their emperor was a wolf in sheep...er...cheap ...............actually their emperor never had any new clothes on... Shiva smiles as if he could read my thoughts. "It depends who tells the tale. Commandments from Rock Rats will be received like duck falling on water's front...it'll make no refreshing splash on the brain..." I frowned. "Why is that? There has to be a reason why people lap up even the chewing gum from a Dalai Lama but will not hesitate to stone a rock rat like me for opening her blasphemous mouth...even though ...sob....even thought...it might be blasphemous wisdom..."
......Shiva crinkles his forehead in that way I love. Gosh...I can sit for days and admire the way his third eye goes up to the sky...way beyond mars. "Yessss." He says slowly. "There is a reason but you know what...let's leave that tale for another day... you have already used up all the credit on your universal card..." Shiva held up a palm...like Neo in the Matrix...probably to stop my poison glares no doubt... The nerves. Bummer. Bastard. I thought he was my Sun...and that I could crawl out from under my rock to obtain information…er… bask in his warmth whenever I was ready!!! He frowned. "The sun is always there...however, wear sun block and be glad clouds and earth block the glare as well...................too much sun could be detrimental for your health.................and don't be too greedy for information...it's like eating more food than your body needs.....................................if you can't absorb it all, it's water on duck's back...too much could even drown you..." Bla, bla, bla! Yada, yada, yada!!! He sure knows how to preach...and preaching is what I don't need an iota of!!!  Yikes...the truth does set one free but if you don't know the whole truth, it will make one stomping mad.... and that could be dangerous...(too many have used their free will to destroy themselves and others because they thought they knew the truth...)Shiva spoke again. "Try not to snag-a-sun, become your own sun. You're capable of being your own everything, your own cook, your own doctor, heck, you can even become your own Jesus..."
"Why would I want to become Jesus? In case you haven't noticed, I'm a woman..." Cripes! What do I do to convince him, unbutton my goddamned- He stared at me in exasperation, his third eye suddenly active...almost like a volcano about to erupt. So I shut up fast and applied my listening makeup...I really don't want to end up like Cupid. Whew! I almost made it into the history books. Yikes. I prefer herstory books...so there!!! "I mean don't come running to "me" for every teeny little problem...become your own God and fix all your own damn problems that you created in the first place..." "Er...I never..." I say. "Be like the Sun, be like me." He commands. "And everything will come to you...just like you came to me..." "That's not true." I scoff. "You've to make an effort to go to people before anyone will come to you..."  His smile makes me grit my teeth. "The Sun never comes to anyone yet the Sun touches everyone...........all the time...never worries about receiving...but always giving the sweetness of his warm rays, he touches everything on earth..........and the further away he is from earth...the gentler his rays...""In other words, he's always in a boiling fury..." I ventured. "And to avoid the anger of his heat, one should always stay at a safe distance?" No answer. Yeah, I grumbled in my mind...............Become like the sun, shining idiotically forever...I grumbled some more.......... "If you ask me, that's the passport to detachment itself...what fun is that?" Can you imagine? I touch everyone but no one touches me? I mean, what fun is that really? Just one pattern all over the universe...everywhere you go...Suns everywhere!!! Shiva spoke again. "Just go back under your rock and ponder everything I just said...and then come back to me if you still have questions." I see what's going on here...he's saying that if I don't get it and I come back to him for further explanation, then I am the true idiot......
*$@#%#$%
So I stomped off. And I am still mad as ever…
*Amy is back under her rock living the non-la vida loca life*
Tantric Dancer
  Tantra's my name; Symbolism my gameTo serenade you beyond the mind... my aim I have the power to lead you to your goal For I am the ritualistic dance of your soul I will lull you to an inner world of nada sutra I will hum on your tongue like a mantra I will open portals to a treasured secret place Come dance with me beyond time and space Here, the Fruit of the Goddess is not forbidden I have the power to reveal all that is hidden I am Tantra, the Cosmic Science, the Technique Beyond the Mind, you and I are no more unique You will no longer see me as a worm filled fruit I am the heavy-laden branch all are about to loot Once unfit and tasteless for your very good dish To become oneness with me is now your main wish So eat me not for the sake of eating but savor me For I am the Eater and the Eat in totality Come frolic with me in The Presence where Time stands still I am the Twilight Zone, The Center, I am the Fulfiller and the Fulfilled. Burdensome Past, Worrisome Future to vanish with the Mind Here in the Blissful Presence, I am all yours... can you see me...I am gracefully intertwined. In the beginning was the Goddess Matriarch of our fortress Maiden, mother, crone Three phases of the moon Religions discriminated She was incriminated and eliminated To be labeled wicked magician And tortured by “inquisition” To be horribly burned at the stakes What a totally horrendous mistake But she survived through you and me The sacred masculine and Disney She is yellow and oh, so mellow She is black; no longer will she stay back She is brown; she will definitely stick around She is fair; she is here, there and everywhere She is Goddess of all things Once again she has earn her wings She has survived in me; she lives in you Return of the Goddess is long overdue A source of life giving She is totally accepting Of good and bad findings Lissom and lithe and full of grace She is every dream come true Woven with a thread from each race She is a warm blanket for children too She is gifted with a global mind She will not prejudge human kind She rules the world with utmost love Like the mythical Goddess of above Bridging the gaps to poles of extremes She is the fulfiller of mortal’s dreams She is fully aware she is a witch There is no harm in being bewitched She is the melodious music for all ears She is capable of releasing all fears She is all pervading, all knowing Her wisdom is constantly flowing Good and evil, Durga and Kali in one She is capable of anything under the sun She is here to give the weak the right to live Our cruel world they will one day outlive Showering with love each and every hour The feminine world, she aims to empower She orchestrates the universal dance Keeping all worlds in the sync of balance She knows you are all these… and more and that… you are a Goddess for sure |
| Home... |
| Stories High |
| Taller Tales |
| Story and Poetry |
| Enchanted Poetry |
| ...Bookshelf |
| Rants & Raves |
| Secret Sins |
| Know thy Amy Nut |
| Be My Guest |
| about me, me, me |
| Write to Amy |
| Links |
| Blog |